Let's be honest for a moment...
You feel confident and sure of yourself in the boardroom. It feels easy because there are tangible ways for you to measure your success. You have goals and a roadmap that feels structured and simple to follow and are validated for the work you do.
You desire to have more gravitas and executive presence and wish you intuitively understood how to build leverage so you can create the change that you wish to see without alienating people and also magnetically drawing people and building a mandate…
...but being a partner and a parent is a whole other story. It can be confusing and lonely because it feels like there is a lot at stake
You don't want to measure your worth as a parent or partner based on externally visible markers..
Deep inside your gut, you you know that prioritizing connections & co-regulation is what you desire to feel truly alive.
You want more play, fun & spontaneity in your partnership and parenting - and struggle to shift out of being the planner when you get home. On-going systemic inequalities have a deep impact on you and affect how you show up in every day life.
You deeply desire to be comfortable in your own skin and wish you had a kinder relationship with your own body.
You have a gut feeling that in the connection realm - whether its your body or at work or at home - many of your behaviours are rooted in past patterns and you are ready to take accountability and action to release what needs to be released once and for all.
You are ready to powerfully break intergenerational trauma patterns, and leave a powerful legacy for yourself and people around you and are ready to find the right mentor who can help you on this stage of your journey...
I want you to get that you can have a relationship that is full of passion and connection on an emotional and physical level.
That spontaneity you've been craving is available for you as you step more into your own Truth.
The questions is...How do you make it happen?
What would it feel like to be absolutely present, engaged and confident every day of your life. Experiencing a deep connection with your partner like never before?
Your sex life has never been better - you can be playful while rekindling your passion, and it feels like a whole big flow in your life has been restored.
You are able to fall in love with YOUR true authentic self, and don't feel the pressure to fit in to the imposed expectations you've been following for too long. You are able to release the fear of abandonment or guilt.
You change how you parent your children, you are more gentle, and it actually feels easier as you are able to effectively respond to triggers and the day-to-day chaos of life.
While dealing with intergenerational trauma patterns, and systemic justice issues in the world and at work, you find a way to find differentiate between power inequalities in the outside world and hold your own power and pleasure in relationships.
You are able to find ways to create a mandate for change in the workplace without othering people and find a way to have a relationship with power and authority that goes far beyond binaries.
You finally “meet” your body, listen and attune to its needs and are peaceful with who you are, you heal from binge-starve cycles and find a way to move that feels nourishing, stabilising and more importantly sustainable.
You finally find a way to hold your own power without self-sabotaging yourself and feel reconnected to yourself.
Sounds amazing, right?
But if you're anything like most of my clients, you...
Find yourself feeling like even though you 'have it all', your life feels mechanical, and your relationship with your partner feels like two parallel ships in which you are missing a level of deep emotional and physical connection.
You find yourself grappling with patriarchy (especially after parenthood), and struggle to reconcile the systemic realities with interpersonal connection and safety.
You find yourself questioning the ways in which we relate to our own bodies, body image and outdated ways of thinking about diet and exercise that is so focussed on the external, and deep inside you believe that there is a much kinder and more sustainable way.
Parenthood has changed who you are, and you feel like you are drifting apart… from yourself, your partner and even with work…
The truth is that the stress of losing the hard-earned identity in your career mixed with what you believe parenthood is 'supposed' to be like has triggered some deep attachment wounds, and you know that for you to be an attuned, grounded, emotionally co-regulated presence for your children, your emotional needs have to be seen and met by your partner, and you are ready to redefine success in your own terms…..
...otherwise this journey will continue to feel more lonely each day.
Trust me, I get you
My friends used to call me the resident shrink of the group -always predicting people’s emotions, making sure no one felt discomfort and taking responsibility for the emotional meter of the group.
That got me very good at predicting the needs of my customers and directly contributed to my success as a strategy consultant in the workplace...
..but it also came at the cost of putting myself in the back burner and not really being attuned to what my body wanted.
After two kids, our life changed - we were both chasing the dream, while parenting two kids under 3. Yet, even with all the calendaring and co-ordinating schedules, pick-ups, carpools and backups, we felt like two parallel ships, and were always on the edge or burnt-out.
This is when I knew we had to redefine a relationship with rest, power, and pleasure. I found myself questioning the unquestionable nature of running after the “academic success, grades, extra curricular accolades, high paying job, house with the white picket fence, two kids, a pet or two and the two car family” norm.
This is why I decided to go deep into learning about how the human mind works and how early attachment affects our ways of reacting. Instead of regulating our reactions, we turn to fight - flight - freeze - fawn - fragment responses.
And imagine the two nervous systems - that of yours and your partner - constantly communicating “autonomically” - without conscious language whether they were feeling safety in that moment or not and the reactions that follow.
By investing in somatic coaches and therapists pretty heavily , it has allowed me to really find my authentic self - and reconnect with my own body, redefine my health (lost 28 kgs), be a more attuned parent for my children and rekindle passion with my partner.
It has also taken me on a journey in entrepreneurship that sits at the intersection of passion, profits and purpose. And then I became a professional - first as an attachment focussed birth doula and then as a somatic experiencing professional with deep focus on early attachment imprints and trauma healing.
I have worked with hundreds of parents, both men, women and families on this journey.
Reset the safety detector switch in your nervous system, so you can differentiate between safety and threat. This means you are able to bring conscious awareness to your body’s autonomic unconscious mechanisms that drive your behaviours, reactions, actions, and movement so that you can make better decisions as you respond to stress, triggers, or challenges.
Integrate and rewire automatic primary motor reflex patterns using MNRI Method so that your body can feel safe at a nervous system level.
This means you aren't triggered as easily, and you can slow down your reactions in the face of obstacles and challenges.
Learn to differentiate between the protection responses and the connection responses.
This means you bring awareness to when your body detects safety and threat and are able to recognize what shifts you from one state to another, beyond the narrative, and cognitive stories you are telling yourself.
Reset the nervous system to bring the ventral vagal or safety or social engagement systems back online.
This means you are able to restore functioning of the safety detector, so you can fluidly move between protection and connection accurately in response to external or internal stimuli.
Learn to notice the overwhelm or underwhelm before events happen so that you can respond to it, rather than cognitively notice it after it has happened and you have reacted to it.
This builds coherence and integrates your view of your self.
Heal attachment patterns, early needs, shame & pride patterns, sex & sexuality patterns so that you can release imposed expectations and beliefs holding you back from being your unapologetic, authentic self.
This is a no-blame game. We powerfully integrate certain triggers and patterns stored in the body which is causing you to react they way you do, so you can change from noticing the triggers after it happens (and then going down the shame spiral) to actually noticing it before it happens and as it happens, so that you can slow down and respond with choice and intention.
This is the layer where we rebuilt a coherent post-traumatic narrative, we build on reconnecting dots and build a solid and authentic sense of self. You will heal early attachment patterns and your inner child and how it shows up in marriage and parenting, so you can show up with more secure attachment behaviors, in the bedroom, and in the playground.
This will involve 1:1 somatic experiencing sessions with Sangheetha, where we will work with the body and nervous system language of SIBAM - Sensations, images, behavior, affect, movement and more to re-pattern the body’s attachment, defense and sensory systems and restore safety and agency.
Heal from the wounded collective feminine and masculine energies and truly allow yourself to find your sensual self so you can feel more pleasure, power, passion & purpose.
Most therapy/coaching programs are predicated upon a heavy denial and dissociation from structural and systemic issues that show up in the body and in our relationships - because we are conditioned to see power as a binary - the “have” and “have-nots” and this shows up in every aspect of your life, by acknowledging, bringing the collective patterns and actively work with it in the way it shows up in your body and in your relationships, you get over your power ambivalence, have a relationship with power that feels nourishing, so you can go into deeper levels of connection without fear of becoming a doormat or an aggressor .
This means you will be able to differentiate between power interplay in the boardroom, vs how to hold intimacy and vulnerability in the bedroom with the spouse and in the dinner table with children.
What this means:
Develop a deep, passionate bond with your partner and feel truly seen, witnessed and accepted for who you are
Build mandate for change in the boardroom without alienating powers while bringing your authentic voice
Stop generational cycles of abuse, negative habits, self-sabotage and critical beliefs that are keeping you small and feeling unworthy of unleashed success
Feel worthy to live a fulfilling, passionate and joyous life that makes you feel connected so you can accomplish your highest aspirations from place of total alignment
Redefine your relationship with your body, eating and movement in your own terms and get off the binge-starve rollercoaster through secure attachment
Heal early attachment patterns so you can feel more secure in how you react to situations or triggers in your life, while still protecting the relationships that matter most to you
Feel safe and seen in your relationship with your partner as you confidently ask for what you really want and have your needs met
Stop repeating the patterns of the past as a parent as you become more conscious, gentle and present for your children, easier to be creative, fun and spontaneous
Rekindle your passion with deeper emotional intimacy and mind-blowing sex with your partner